Often in our coaching sessions, we aim to provide technical or practical feedback for the individuals we coach. While trust may be present, sometimes we find that merely sharing ideas, brainstorming, or offering encouragement isn't enough to prompt significant change in the hearts of those we engage with. Despite their eagerness to grow and develop, their beliefs remain limited by their experiences and observations. Is there a way we can inspire our clients beyond conventional pep talks, words of encouragement, or stimulating new ideas?
Reflecting on Jesus and his interactions with people, we see him as a master at drawing out not just their ideas and thoughts, but also connecting with their hearts. Jesus, arguably the most influential coach in human history, wasn't renowned for his perfection, great ideas, or experience alone; one of his most impactful teaching methods was storytelling. When Jesus uttered the phrase, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear," he meant that those who are humble and open-hearted will be profoundly impacted.
In the Book of Matthew, there's a clear shift where Jesus begins to use parables. Matthew 12 is filled with accusations, theological debates, and criticism, prompting Jesus to alter his approach. Soon after, his public ministry declines, and he focuses more on investing time with those willing to listen, aiming to speak to their hearts rather than engaging in theological debates.
In modern psychology, we understand that the brain has different hemispheres responsible for feelings and thoughts. Our hearts and minds can become disconnected, leading to inner conflict and anxiety. Emotions, which reside in the heart, are crucial indicators of our inner state. When we share information, it often remains in the realm of the intellect unless accompanied by an experiential component, such as a story, that can bypass the analytical mind and resonate directly with the heart.
Jesus's shift to storytelling in Matthew 13 underscores the effectiveness of narratives in reaching people's hearts. Despite the rich theological discussions that followed in Jesus's later ministry, his pivot to storytelling suggests that narratives can be more impactful in inspiring change than intellectual discourse alone. How does this relate to coaching?
While we typically share ideas, tips, and strategies with those we coach, there are moments when they face discouragement, feeling stuck, or held back by limiting beliefs. In such instances, storytelling can provide both inspiration and practical examples of what's possible. Living in a culture steeped in storytelling, we have a vast array of narratives at our disposal to help our coachees overcome their limitations.
Here's a practical method for crafting a story:
Story Framework: Environment, Experience, Emotion.
Start by describing the environment in which the character exists, painting a vivid picture to engage the listener's imagination. Next, narrate the experiences of the character and how they navigate through them. Finally, evoke the emotions experienced by the character, allowing the listener to empathize and connect more deeply with the narrative.
Examples:
- Earnest Hemingway-style Story: "For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn."
- Short Story: "A young man grappled with a heavy season and a weighted heart. As he awakened one morning in search of solace, he embarked on a walk. Along a quiet Texas country road in seek of the Lord, with rolling hills and lush greenery bathed in the cool, crisp morning air, tears streamed down his face. Filled with guilt and heartache, he pondered whether to continue pursuing his girlfriend or to depart, potentially leaving her heartbroken. When seeking the Lord, he felt impressed to be reminded of the Song, Rock of Ages and felt oppressed by the spirit that she was not the one to pursue. Falling to his knees, the reality set in that he once again was going to leave someone close, broken.
- A few weeks ago a Reliant Employee was building their MTD Team. After training they came out of the gate swinging and engaging with MTD rigorously. In addition they were having 6-8 appointments a week, preparing for a wedding, finishing up school, house shopping with his finance. After a few weeks he got to 14% almost immediately and then sat at that percentage for 3 weeks. One evening after needing shoulder surgery in addition to his grandmother passing away, he fell to his knees one night at his bed, tears streaming down his face, Crying out out to God, “I have done every thing that has been asked of me Lord, I cannot do this on my own. God I trust you, but you need to make this happen. I surrender to you”! The next morning, this young worker came downstairs and was eating breakfast with his family. As the morning conversation began he was processing with his family that he was at the end of himself and that God might not be calling him to provide with a slight err of weight in his voice. As he was sharing, “I am not sure God has this for me” He reaches out and opens his computer and his jaw drops as he opened his account. In a 12 hour period he jumped from 14% to 40%. One might fill in the gaps of what happened next the the faith and praise that followed. “He who has hear to hear let them hear”
So get out there and when your people get stuck or struggling, take the risk and share stories of God as work in your life or others! And watch Jesus work!
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